AT THE KANGAROO HOP

THE NAME OF THE GHASTLY LOOKING SHIP

THAT HOVERED NEAR THE AUSTRALIAN COAST

WAS SIMPLy CALLED “THE IT”; AND IN SPITE OF THE SUN SETTING IN THE OCEAN SKY MAKING EVERYTHING ALMOST NIGHT, THE NAME OF THE SHIP,”THE IT”, COULD STILL BE SEEN WRITTEN AT IT’S FRONT.

ON THE UPPER DECK COULD BE SEEN MOST OF THE SHIP’S PASSENGERS; EACH AND EVERYONE OF THEM WEARING A VEST THAT SAID, “KANGAROO BOXING CLUB”. IT WAS A TOTAL OF TWO HUNDRED BOXING KANGAROOS, WITH MORE OF THEM ON THE DECKS BELOW, WHO WOULD BE SENT TO DIFFERENT CIRCUSES, FAIRS, GATHERINGS, NIGHT CLUBS, ETC., TO BOX PATRONS OF THOSE BUSINESSES FOR THEIR OWN ENTERTAINMENT. ON THEIR PAWS WERE BOXING GLOVES; AND ON EACH BOXING GLOVE WAS WRITTEN THE WORD, “CRUNCH!”.

AS THE SKY CHANGED FROM FINAL DARK OF SUNSET TO DARK OF NIGHT, ALL OF A SUDDEN, A NUMBER OF SHADOWY FIGURES WITH THEIR IDENTItIES CONCEALED BY FACE MASKS, BEGAN COMING UP THE SIDE OF THE SHIP AND ONTO THE DECK. THEY BOMBARDED THE KANGAROOS WITH SLEEPING GAS; AND AS THEY PROCEEDED IN THEIR WICKED PLANS, TIED UP ALL OF THE CREW AND THE CAPTAIN. BEFORE THE SUN CAME UP, THEY HAD STOLEN ALL THE BOXING KANGAROOS, SET SAIL AND WERE NEVER SEEN AGAIN.

THE FRUITS OF THEIR ACTIONS THOUGH, WOULD BE SEEN. IT WOULD SHOW UP IN A NUMBER OF AMERICAN RESTAURANTS: IMPORTED KANGAROO MEAT; FALSELY SOLD TO THE PUBLIC AS BEING REAL BEEF.

AT ONE SUCH BUSINESS, A RESTAURANT OWNED BY IMMIGRANT CHINESE, THE OWNERS WERE TOO FOOLISH TO KILL THE KANGAROOS BEFORE THEY BROUGHT THEM TO THEIR BUSINESS. WORSE STILL, THEY HID THE KANGAROOS IN A LARGE BACK ROOM. THEY HAD NEVER EVEN BOTHERED TAKING OFF THEIR VESTS THAT SAID, “KANGAROO BOXING CLUB” OR REMOVING THEIR BOXING GLOVES WITH THE WORD WRITTEN ON THEM, “CRUNCH!”.

THEN CAME THE DAY THAT NO ONE HAD EVER EXPECTED. AS IT TURNED OUT, SOMEONE HAD ACCIDENTALLY LEFT THE DOOR OPEN TO

THE ROOM WHERE THEY KEPT THE KANGAROOS. SOON, THERE WERE KANGAROOS HOPPING ALL OVER THE RESTAURANT DINING ROOM, PUNCHING CUSTOMERS, KNOCKING THINGS OVER AND OFF OF THE THE TABLES AND COUNTERS, DOING ALL SORTS OF THINGS. ONE GIANT KANGAROO HOPPED ONTO THE COUNTER TOP AND TOOK A CRAP.

A MAN COMPLAINED. “THE SERVICE HERE IS LOUSY”, HE SAID: “THERE ARE KANGAROOS HOPPING ALL OVER THE MAIN FLOOR. I FEEL BAD: WHAT SHOULD I DO TO FEEL BETTER?”

ANOTHER MAN NEXT TO HIM TOLD HIM, “I’VE GOT THE SOLUTION RIGHT HERE.”

THE MAN WHO HAD COMPLAINED WAS QUITE SURPRISED WHEN THE OTHER MAN SITTING AT THE TABLE BESIDE HIM LIFTED UP A CAGE WITH A MOUSE IN IT AS HE SAID FARTHER,”KANGAROOS ARE AFRAID OF MICE: I HAVE A PET MOUSE HERE. IF I PUT HIM ON THE FLOOR ALL THE KANGAROOS WILL RUN OUT OF THE RESTAURANT. IT WONT SOLVE THE PROBLEM OF THE KANGAROOS BEING IN THE STREET:BUT AT LEAST FOR NOW, WE CAN GET THEM OUT OF THE RESTAURANT."

SO THE MAN WITH THE MOUSE PUT THE MOUSE DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE KANGAROOS BEGAN GOING CRAZY. AS THE MOUSE RAN AROUND THE RESTAURANT AND INTO THE DIFFERENT SECTIONS, EVERY KANGAROO THAT SAW IT WENT BERZERK, UNTIL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD SEEN IT AND WERE MAKING EVERY RATIONAL AND IRRATIONAL MOVE POSSIBLE TO GET AWAY. KANGAROOS WERE HOPPING EVERYWHERE AND SOME JUMPED SO HARD, THAT THEY WENT COMPLETELY THROUGH THE CEILING.

“OPEN THE FRONT DOOR”, HOLLARED THE MAN WHO HAD PUT THE MOUSE DOWN. SOMEONE OPENED THE FRONT DOOR AND THE KANGAROOS BEGAN ESCAPING THROUGH IT, UNTIL EVENTUALLY, THERE WERE NO KANGAROOS LEFT IN THE RESTAURANT. ALL OF THEM HAD ESCAPED WHAT THEY REGARDED AS THE TINY VILLAINOUS BEAST OUT TO TO GET THEM, THE MOUSE.

THE MAN WHO HAD BROUGHT THE MOUSE IN THEN PLACED THE CAGE ON THE GROUND WITH THE DOOR OPEN. HE TOOK OUT A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY OUT AND A THIMBLE OUT OF HIS POCKET, FILLED THE THIMBLE WITH WHISKEY AND PLACED IT IN THE CAGE.

NOW HE CALLED OUT TO HIS MOUSE AS HE YELLED OUT, “HEY ‘OSCAR’; I KNOW YOU’VE GOT THE SHAKES, SO I POURED YA’ SOME BOOZE! GOT SOME NICE WHISKEY: COME AND GET IT!”

TO EVERYONE’S AMAZEMENT, HIS PET MOUSE CAME RUNNING BACK INTO THE CAGE AND BEGAN DRINKING THE WHISKEY OUT OF THE THIMBLE.

EVENTUALLY ALL THE KANGAROOS THAT WERE HOPPING AROUND AND ABOUT WERE APPREHENDED AS WERE THE CHINESE RESTAURANT OWNERS FOR BUYING KANGAROOS FOR MEAT. SINCE ‘OSCAR’ WAS BUILT A LOT LIKE A KANGAROO, HIS OWNER CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF PUTTING LITTLE BOXING GLOVES ON HIS HANDS AND A PUNCHING BAG IN HIS CAGE AND HIRED A RETIRED PROFESSIONAL BOXER TO TRAIN HIM; AND AS A RESULT, ‘OSCAR’ BECAME THE FIRST BOXING MOUSE. EVENTUALLY MOUSE BOXING BECAME SO POPULAR, THAT IT EVEN BECAME MORE POPULAR IN AUSTRAILIA ITSELF THAN KANGAROO BOXING.

the end

LEFTRIDGE’S